Is your baby a light sleeper? Are you tiptoeing around the house, getting irritated your dog for breathing too loudly every time she is asleep? Do you dread the transfer from your arms to the crib, because no matter how fast asleep baby seems, she is all of a sudden wide-eyed and awake the second you get her in her crib?
I hear this from parents A LOT. They say they work so hard getting their baby to sleep, but their efforts seem increasingly futile because it seems like no matter what they
Let’s start with a little myth busting about baby sleep
Everyone, including all babies,
So yes, your baby is a light sleeper. But your baby is also a deep sleeper, too.
Some babies spend more time in light sleep stages before getting into a deeper sleep. While some babies go from light sleep to deep sleep in almost no time at all. Either way, everyone goes through these cycles every time they shut their eyes.
Deep Sleep vs Light Sleep
The sleep that does us the most good, the truly restorative sleep is non-REM sleep or deep sleep. Typically, we get that deep, non-REM sleep in the middle of our sleep cycles. People tend to feel more rested and can get by on less sleep than others when they spend more of their sleep time in deep sleep.
When I hear parents saying that their baby is a light sleeper, it is probably that their baby tends to spend more time in light sleep than in deep sleep. Light sleep cycles are the sleep states where we dream and are more aware of our surroundings, and are easier to wake up from.
Babies’ sleep cycles are also significantly shorter than adults’, so they are spending time in light sleep more often than adults. If you find that your baby always seems to be waking easily or frequently, part of the challenge may be due to timing.
Can you teach your baby to spend more time in deep sleep?
Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news first: you can’t really teach your baby to spend more time in a deep sleep than a light sleep.
Here is the good news! What you can do is help your little one to fall back to sleep on their own when they wake up.
Independent Sleep and eliminating sleep props
There are a lot of elements to teaching a baby to fall asleep independently, but the most important one is the elimination of sleep props. A sleep prop is anything external that baby relies on to go to sleep. You can think of it as the way baby knows how to go to sleep. They have never practiced going to sleep on all their own, so they don’t know how to do it.
Feeding, rocking, pacifiers, or being walked around in their parents’ arms are all good examples of sleep props. If baby needs a car ride to fall asleep, then they’re going to need another car ride when they wake up again at the end of the next sleep cycle. If your baby always gets rocked to sleep, they learn to rely on that motion as part of the process, so once they wake up at night, they’re waiting for you to help recreate that situation that they know how to fall asleep in.
These habits, or sleep props, that babies associate with and rely on to fall asleep are typically the difference between a “bad sleeper” and a “good sleeper”.
All babies can be “good sleepers”
The babies that people tend to refer to as “good sleepers” have the same sleep cycles as the ones who wake up crying every time their parents try to put them down. It is likely that these “good sleepers” have just gotten the hang of falling asleep on their own. Then when they wake up, they can squirm around a little to get comfortable, maybe babble to themselves for a few, then go happily back to sleep.
You can’t stop your little one from waking up during the night, it is how our bodies work. Helping them learn to fall back to sleep independently (just like you likely do) is the key to helping you both get the deep, rejuvenate, and uninterrupted sleep that you both need and deserve.
How do I help baby learn to be a “good sleeper” without a sleep prop?
One of the most common questions I am asked as a Baby Sleep Consultant is, “How do I teach my baby to sleep without the bottle, nursing, pacifier, being rocked, etc.?” The answer really depends on each individual baby. We all have our unique learning styles and what we find helpful in terms of support while learning a new skill. The bottom line is that your baby is going to have to practice doing this activity (falling asleep) in a new way (without their sleep props).
Another common question I get asked is, “How much crying, protesting, or fussing will there be?” Well, this is going to be a change for your baby. So, they are likely going to have an opinion and feelings about making this change. Just like most people have feelings about making changes, because as humans, we seem to not love change. Being consistent in encouraging and supporting them in practicing falling asleep in their new way (without their sleep props) will help you and your baby see sleep success more quickly and with less protest in the long run.
The gift of sleep when baby is a light sleeper
The gift of sleep is a wonderful gift to give your babies. Especially because all babies (and adults) are light sleepers at least part of the time. And no one can change that.
The gift of learning to sleep well on their own is one that keeps on giving throughout their life. And trust me, it will benefit your entire family for years to come. (Did anyone say more sleep for mom and dad, too!? Yes, please!)
Are you unsure how to approach helping your baby learn to sleep well? Are you a bit nervous that whatever you try might make sleep worse? Well, the good news is that I’m here to help you with either or both of those questions and concerns. Set up your free evaluation call to chat with me, and get the information you need to move forward!
Cheers to healthy, happy sleep!
10 thoughts on “What To Do When Your Baby is a Light Sleeper”
My baby is 3 month old and his a happy baby . The issue I have is his sleeping , no matter what I do his still gets up and as you have mentioned his a light sleeper more than deep. During the day I have to cuddle him and he only sleeps in my arms ! And as soon as I put him down on his bed he soon gets up! I think he don’t seems to have the confidence or do not have a trues or feeling secure to sleep on his own ! At the moments we going throw some issues as his got allergies to dairy’s and I gave stopes beastfeeding ! I think that’s one of the cause too ! He sleeps at nights better but only for few ours! I really need some help regarding this problem as he only feel better to sleep in my arms !
Hi Setareh! It is very common and normal for babies of this age to want to sleep in close proximity. It is also common for babies to wake quickly once they have been put down. Comforting him while he is laying flat in how sleep space can help him fall asleep there and then better be able to stay asleep. I would recommend getting the dairy allergy and any other health challenge resolved prior to making any changes to sleep. I know it is exhausting when he will only sleep in your arms but it does and will get better! Feel free to reach out and schedule a free evaluation call if you want to chat through what is going on and how I can help. You can schedule a call here if you are interested: https://sleeploveandhappiness.com/scheduling/
My baby is 5 weeks old. She used to sleep in her cot for about 4 hours and then was waking up every 2. During the day she was falling asleep in my arms but you could leave her on her pram, it wasn’t easy but she stayed there after few tryings. Since 3 days ago is imposible to do both, she falls asleep in the arms but when you leave her she wakes up after 5 minutes, no matter if you wait for her to be in deep sleep…
Also, she is having reflux so you have to put her straight for a little bit after feeding so cosleeping is being challenged as well. When you pick her up and then put back down again makes her waking up…
She gets really overtired so that doesn’t help neither.
I need some help as me and my partner are really tired!
Hi Ainhoa! I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. Newborn sleep can be really challenging. What you are experiencing can be very common and normal, but very exhausting. She may be going through a growth spurt or something developmentally that she needs more contact napping right now. With the reflux, I would check with your pediatrician to see if she needs additional support to manage it. It could be a contributing factor to her waking up as soon as you lay her down at this age. I’d give her a few days to a week or so and see how things go as it may improve and get back to the way it was before. If not, feel free to reach out and schedule a free evaluation call so we can chat more in depth about what is going on, your sleep goals and how I can help. Hang in there!
Hi my 10 month baby is a good sleeper (sleeps through) however we live in a small bungalow (creaky floors) baby wakes from slightest sounds and we are due to have another baby in 6 weeks. All bedrooms next to each other and the bungalow echoes.
We already use white noise but she just wakes with any sounds very responsive to it.
Any tips? It’s very stressful as she wakes so
Easily. If the house was bigger we wouldn’t have an issue.
Hi Julie! Congrats on adding another little one into the mix! How does she fall asleep at bedtime? and does she put herself back to sleep is she is woken up by noises? If she isn’t, that would be the first step, getting her falling asleep independently so that when/if she is woken up by noises she can get herself back to sleep. I find this also reduces the number of full wake ups babies have due to noises. If she is putting herself to sleep and back to sleep, you may just need to reassure her at bedtime that she is safe and any noises she hears are normal and ok. There will likely be an adjustment period with new baby as she gets used to those noises and learning that she doesn’t need to respond to them because you take care of it. Feel free to reach out to me via email email@example.com if you want to chat more!
Hi, my baby is 16 weeks and only naps 30 mins in his basket. When in my arms he naps longer although it seems like he still goes in and out of sleep even then! How do I get him to sleep longer? I’m worried about him not getting enough sleep as it ruins the rest of the day. However, even in my arms it takes ages for him to get in a deep sleep and I’m worried about him getting too much sleep?!
Hi Ruby! Short naps are very common at this age. Somewhere between 4-6 months is when I start to see naps reliably extend. Making sure he has appropriate wake windows (about 1.25-1.75 hours at 16 weeks and 1.5-2.25 at 5 months) will also help in addition to helping him learn independent sleep skills so he can connect his sleep cycles on his own and not need your help every time he needs to go to sleep or in between sleep cycles. Hope that helps! If you are still struggling, especially with independent sleep I’d love to chat more. You can schedule a free call here if you are interested in chatting more about what is going on and how I can help!
My almost 9 month old hasn’t slept more than 2-3 hours straight since he was born. He wakes constantly each night
Hi Yesenia! I’m so sorry to hear you are struggling with your 9 month old’s sleep. I’d love to chat with you more about how I may be able to help get you and your little one sleeping much better for much longer stretches at nights and taking good naps. You can schedule a free call here so we can learn more about each other and if it would be a good fit working together! Look forward to chatting with you soon!